The ultimate worship experience?

One of the very hardest things, if you've been around churches all your life (as I have), is to see things once more with the eyes of a visitor or newcomer.

What are the first impressions of walking in? How does it feel?

A bit of genius observation from Dave Walker - he of Cartoon Church:

"I went to the Apple store in London.

The worship space was brightly lit, and row upon row of devotees stood at wooden benches gazing in adoration at white machines of varying shapes and sizes. A glass staircase lead upwards, where further rows of worshippers were doing much the same as those downstairs. People wearing bright shirts stood behind other desks, and names appeared on large screens. In the upper sanctuary a gathering of the faithful sat on wide comfortable pews and listened to a sermon.

I found the whole experience quite baffling. I could not see any orders of service anywhere, so it was rather difficult to know what I should be doing. Eventually I plucked up the courage to approach a sidesman, who explained what the worshippers were all doing and answered some of my questions about the basic tenets of the faith. He took me over to one of the white machines and explained some of the ways in which I too could become a follower should I choose. There would of course be very real costs involved.

Wary of making a commitment on my first visit I thanked the sideman and explained that I was in a bit of a hurry. To his credit he did not seem to mind.

I left clutching a parish magazine and thinking that returning on another occasion might not be entirely out of the question."

He's not the first person to spot the religion of Apple-worship.

But it also helps us ask what we should be asking about the experience of walking into church for the very first time...

• First impressions? ("The worship space was brighly lit." - if only!)
• What would a first-timer make of what it means to be "one of the faithful" in our church?
• What about our church would make "the whole experience quite baffling"?
• Could you or I "explain some of the way in which I too could become a follower"... and would we make clear "the very real costs involved"?
• ...and most importantly, what makes people feel "returning on another occasion might not be entirely out of the question"?

If you want another angle on the same (or similar) set of questions, there's the story of the ordination college that sends all its first-year vicars-in-training to each find a betting shop, go in (mostly for the first time!) and place a bet... and then reflect on their experiences!